The Kinks in Kampala’s Cocks
There is a guy in Muyenga; living on his own in a really great house, apparently no wife and kids, I met him at a charity event for fuck’s-sake. He was even a fun chao; quirky, improvising positions,...
View ArticleHiking Away
The hitchhiker has not had sex in months I know, I know. Up is left and down is right. The pope is boning Paris Hilton and Lexington Steele has retired from his illustrious porn career to become an...
View ArticleThe Loathe Letters
Dear guy who I was slightly obsessed with last year. You would roll into town from Kenya and somehow impress me with your company expense account, and inflated regard for your own wit. When we first...
View ArticleDon’t get it twisted, lust is a beautiful thing…
That warm, honey brown feeling just above the loins. This is what makes you do crazy/dumb things, like climb downstairs at 1 30 am on a rainy Tuesday morning into the bed of the boy in the flat below....
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Girl On Girl Violence
There comes a time in every young woman’s life when she must grab a bitch by the synthetic ponytail, hold her wailing head steady, and punch her in the throat. Perhaps, if your life is like mine, this...
View ArticleSafeword
As he was taking off my clothes he said, “What should we use as a safeword?” “Ummm, how about ‘no’.” I responded, between kisses. The idea of me yelling “Cabbages. CABBAGES!” or some other random word...
View ArticleFantasizing Without The Cabbage
I was sending flirty texts to a potential lover when he asked me: <So what’s yr fantasy?> (If you’re not the type of person who texts in proper English, never shall our genitalia meet. Just...
View ArticleThe Expectation
There is a scene in the film 40 Days and 40 Nights in which Josh Hartnett brings Shannyn Sossamon to orgasm with only a flower. This scene is bullshit. I have sent lovers home with hands still-twisted...
View ArticleUMEME Romance
That Sunday, escaping the chokingly dull atmosphere at lunch with the relas, Trish had gone to watch her cousin play football. It was there that she slowly became aware of Paul. She had categorised ¾...
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The Beat Goes On
WARNING: This guy had just told a joke and Stella was mid-laugh, her mouth frozen open in a snapshot when she saw something across the bar. Excusing herself from her friends she went in the opposite...
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